Stop Finding Yourself, Start Creating Yourself: The Guide to Intentional Growth and Life Design

Either life can happen to you, or you can stand up and happen on life

Ordinary people are waiting for life to happen to them, but great people stand up and happen on life.

- MOFFAT MACHINGURA | Cinderella Taught Me Lessons

  We often spend years trying to find ourselves…

 And that's exactly why it takes years.

 It's because the best way to find yourself is by creating yourself.

 Stop finding yourself, start creating yourself.

Stop searching. Just Sit down and firmly decide:

• Who you really want to be
• What you want to be known for
• What you want to stand for in this world
• What you want to stand up to.

Decide!

 You are evolving every day. You are turning into somebody, and your life is turning into something else.

The problem is, for most people, life always changes in the direction they never planned for. Whether it’s for good or bad.

 In life, there is what is called Conscious Evolution (intentional growth) and Spontaneous Evolution (accidental growth).

In simpler terms, you are either growing accidentally or growing intentionally.

Accidental Growth - Spontaneous Evolution

Spontaneous Evolution is when life changes either for good or bad - without your control. It just happens by a twist of fate.

These are people who just believe they are going to be rich, even if they are doing nothing that leads to riches.

They remain as employees even though nobody has ever been rich through a salary. (If being an employee could make you rich, even your boss would be an employee).

Spontaneous Evolution can also be seen in love relationships

There is a couple that believes their relationship is going to smoothly flow on its own just because they love each other.

They want an amazing and lifelong relationship, and they think they are going to naturally evolve in that direction.

As I wrote in the article: Self Determination: The Key to Overcoming the Fear of Failure and Self Doubt

These are people who believe - "Whatever should be, will be." Yet,

There is so much good that should happen, that never will, because you were supposed to make it happen but never did.

- MOFFAT MACHINGURA | Cinderella Taught Me Lessons

In relationships these people say...

"If you really love someone let them go, if they are meant to be yours, they will come back to you"

That’s so sweet and yet so wrong

Whatever you can't hold on to, won't stay in your life - even if it was meant to be yours.

“Seek and you shall find. Knock and it shall be opened. Ask and it shall be given unto you.”

– JESUS CHRIST

In life, finding is only promised to seekers, and openings are for knockers. Those who are waiting will eat crumbs left by those who found what they were seeking.

Conscious Evolution - Intentional Growth

You Have the Power to Make Your Life Happen

That's why besides Spontaneous Evolution - there is Conscious Evolution

Conscious Evolution is being intentional with the direction and growth in life. It’s finding out that your business is suffering, then you step out, and start learning from business people that have made it.

It takes telling yourself 

 “I will grow faster if I choose to grow intentionally rather than accidentally”

Before we got married, my wife and I would visit any elderly couple we bumped into. We didn’t care that they were strangers, if they had made it in marriage together for 20 years and above – we would make an appointment and visit them.

We would ask them the secret to their success in marriage, and the challenges they met in their lifetime together.

It's because we understood that loving each other to the moon and back was NOT enough to give us a happy marriage. A happy relationship and marriage doesn’t happen or on its own.

We have to be intentional about growing in the direction of happy, joyful marriage.

2 Keys that Unlock Conscious Growth in Your Life

a) Know Your What You Don't Want

 In life, progress begins the day you look at yourself and admit the things that make you sick!

 What is it about your character, your finances, your love life - that you know should change?

Sometimes you should just look at the house that you grew up in, and admit that it's NOT a house - it's a lunch tin 😂

I'm not saying tell your parents their house was a lunch tin - they did their best - it's time for you to do better than their best

But you first need to know what you don't want, in order to get rid of it

You can’t change what you can tolerate.

Even if it's a bad character, a bad habit, or an addiction. You can’t change what you can tolerate.

Even if it's poverty or low life standards. You can’t change what you can tolerate

There is a reason God gave you the ability to complain

Your Complaint is your vision

Whatever irritates you about this world, can be a clue to what you were born to solve

- MOFFAT MACHINGURA | Cinderella Taught Me Lessons

Whatever makes you angry, can be a clue to what you value

What you don't value cannot anger you

EXERCISE: Write Your Complaint List

Take your notebook and note down 5 things, that you no longer want to see in your life.

Whether it's a furniture, a character problem, a bad financial or relationship status. Just list those 5 things you no longer want to see in your life this year.

Take your complaints seriously, they are pointers to what you are supposed to solve.

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 When you are done let’s move to the next key.

b) Know What You Want

If you don't clearly decide what you want to see in your life - you won't find it

Or if you find it, you won't even know you have found it

What you don't want to see in your life - that’s your Complaint

What you want to see in your life, that's your Vision

Your Complaint shows you what you should run away from - but your Vision shows you what you should run towards.

- MOFFAT MACHINGURA | Cinderella Taught Me Lessons

This is where most people miss it in life

 They only know what they don't want, but they don't know what they want

 A woman can stay in an abusive relationship for years

 If you ask her why she doesn't leave

 She will say "I know he hurts me, but I don't know where to go"

 So she is staying in that place, NOT because she doesn't know she should leave that place - but because she doesn't know where to go

In life, you need to clearly decide where you want to go. Sit down and tell yourself: NOT poor is NOT enough - I want to be rich.

NOT being sad is NOT enough, I want to be happy. I am going to step out in life, pursuing those things that make me happy and rich rather than spending it trying to avoid being sad or hating being broke.

When I wanted to get a First Class Degree at University…

I wrote the words FIRST CLASS on a piece of paper and stuck it on the wall in my room

Whenever I would look at that FIRST CLASS poster - I would start studying even on a day I was feeling lazy

4 Years Later - I graduated, and yes - I had a First Class Degree in Psychology.

You Have The Power To Change Your Life

You have the power to make your own dreams come true.

You just need to be honest about what you don't want and start getting rid of it. Yes, it takes time, everything takes time, and even NOT changing it takes time.

You are NOT saving time by avoiding starting that process that should change your life.

- MOFFAT MACHINGURA | Cinderella Taught Me Lessons

Then you need to clearly know what you want - and everyday make at least one step towards it - no matter how small that step may be

A 1% Progress per day, is 100% Progress in 100 Days

And 100% change is a complete change.

So here is the last exercise for today

EXERCISE 2: Write a Dream List

In your notebook, list 5 Things that You Now Want to See Develop in Your Life. If you want a business write it down.

If You want to be a kind person write, I want to be kind. If you are studying, say I want a First Class. Just list them.

NB: Studies show that, writing a goal down increases your chance of achieving it by 42 percent.

 

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 That’s all for this wisdom session, see you in the next one. Remember to subscribe to this blog for more helpful posts such as this one.

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